Raising Kids With Grace and Truth: Making Sense of the Parenting Debate
Just like little hands learn to balance blocks, we are called to balance gentleness and correction, raising children who are not only emotionally secure but spiritually grounded.
In today’s parenting world, it can feel like we’re being pulled in opposite directions.
On one hand, there’s a growing emphasis on gentle parenting—validating emotions, teaching regulation, and creating safe environments for our kids to grow.
On the other hand, there’s a growing concern: Are we losing sight of sin? Are we raising emotionally healthy kids who don’t know they need a Savior?
At Diapers to Disciples, we believe the tension is real—and it matters. But we also believe there’s a better way forward, one that holds grace and truth together without compromise.
Children Are Both Developing and Sinful
The Bible tells us that every human being is born in need of redemption.
“Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” — Psalm 51:5
Our children are no exception. They don’t just need better behavior; they need new hearts.
But God also designed their bodies and brains to develop over time.
The prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for the capacities of self-control and problem-solving) is still developing well into their twenties.
Emotional regulation is not automatic; it’s a skill that builds slowly through experience, guidance, and practice.
In other words: Our kids are both sinners and learners.
When a toddler melts down at the grocery store, it could be a combination of immature emotional skills and selfish desires. When a teenager slams their door, it might be hormonal overwhelm and rebellious pride.
True Gospel-centered parenting requires us to hold both realities at once.
Parenting at the Crossroads of Grace and Truth
The world would tell us to pick a side: either validate every feeling or demand total obedience.
But Jesus shows us a different way:
“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” — John 1:14
Grace and truth are not competing values. They are inseparable in the person of Christ, and they must be inseparable in the way we parent.
Grace says: “I see your struggle, and I’m here with you. I understand that some of what you’re feeling is because you’re still growing.”
Truth says: “But your emotions don’t excuse your sin. Your anger, your defiance, your selfishness—they need to be named and confessed before God.”
It’s not enough to raise kids who can regulate their emotions.
It’s not enough to raise kids who conform to rules.
We want to raise kids who know how to repent.
What This Looks Like in Practice
We validate emotions: “It’s okay to feel angry. Anger isn’t a sin by itself.”
We teach emotional regulation: “When you’re angry, let’s learn to use words instead of hitting.”
We call out sin: “When you choose to hit, that’s not just a feeling—that’s a choice to hurt someone. That’s sin, and we need to make it right.”
Correction is not unkind. Expecting obedience is not oppressive.
Holding our children to God’s standard is the most loving thing we can do—because love leads them to repentance, not rebellion.
“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.” — Revelation 3:19
The Heart of Discipleship
At Diapers to Disciples, we don’t believe parenting is about behavior modification. It’s about discipleship.
We are raising children who:
Know they are sinners in need of grace.
Know their emotions are real but not ultimate.
Know repentance is a gift, not a punishment.
Little by little, day by day, we point them to Jesus—the only one who can give them new hearts.
Let’s raise kids who know how to repent, not just how to regulate.
If you’re looking for more on Gospel-centered, developmentally-informed parenting, explore our resources at Diapers to Disciples. Join us as we walk this journey together—with grace and truth, hand in hand.